


Monochrome Tryst

by Woollymitts



Category: Holby City
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, F/F, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-14
Updated: 2017-02-14
Packaged: 2018-09-24 08:47:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9714053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Woollymitts/pseuds/Woollymitts
Summary: Where the AU universe implodes. If Berena was a Mills and Boon novel parody. Note the chapter six rating. Also note that it takes a serious amount of talent to write smut well of which this is a top example of how to fail spectacularly at it. This is just a teasing homage to all of you who make a proper go of it.Serafina/Serena and Kirby/Bernie. Sorry galloping abs inspired me to make a lesbian version that no one ever wanted. Clickhere for the original.If it would also to make you feel better I made it AU. Slightly seasoned response to the Elinor storyline. Remember once your eyes pass over these words they cannot be unseen. Consider yourself properly warned.  If you don't get the galloping abs reference please step away, go to the above link and return if you have the stomach.





	

Kirby Agrippina Weimaraner cracked her neck bones as she stacked away heavy briefs, with her big biceps, into her enormous mahogany desk. She then straightened the collar of her crisp white shirt. It had been an awful day in court. Fortunately her defendant, Eleanor Pellmell had been acquitted of manslaughter, or as good as, since the case was dismissed due to her most timely demise. 

The vial of chloroform that her PI, Wosgood, had snuck into Eleanor's water led to her dramatic collapse behind the dock. And with Wosgood in the ambulance it was a cinch to pronounce her dead on arrival at the hospital and spirit her away to the morgue. At Kirby's behest, she was now on a flight to Kyiv where she would transfer from a French degree to one in Ukrainian. 

At some point in four years' time, or a minimum of a 2:1, she could return with a new identity to Holborough city and reunite with her mother. In any case, this was a trice compared to the fifteen years' minimum term in prison that she faced for running down her cousin via her grandmother's love child, Jensen Payne. 

Kirby's methods were unorthodox but let no one say she did not get results. Her unblemished record for court wins had been why Serafina Pellmell, the piano virtuoso, had instructed her in the first place. During the case, there had been a number of heated confrontations between Serafina and her brief and while she had achieved what was required of her, Kirby still had to let her in on the scheme. But it did require an opportune opportunity. 

The door to her office banged loudly on its hinges as an emotional Serafina swept into her chambers. She was dressed for a concert in the blackest chiffon like a baked Alaska that had been set on fire. And she was burning as hot as the meringue on a char broiled pudding. 

Being well mannered, Kirby swiped the biscuit crumbs off her pinstripe trousers, adjusted her matching waistcoat and stood up on her legs for the upset lady. 

"How could you let this happen?" wailed Serafina, her corseted boobs heaving in distress. 

Kirby marched around the desk and stared at her, brown eyes lit up like a G4S security system alarm. 

Serafina fell upon her QC beating her fists helplessly against Kirby's chest. Kirby tried with her long arms to envelope the distressed pianist in a bearhug but Serafina resisted her efforts swinging her shoulders from side to side to avoid her grasp. 

Her actions only made her pendulous breasts wrest free from her corset and Kirby could no longer contain herself. 

"You must get a grip on yourself Fina. Trust me, it'll all be fine in the end." she said, trying to calm her. 

"How can you say that you heartless human being? My darling Eleanor is dead and I will be never hear her speak substandard French again"

"Maybe not French, my darling, but how about pidgin Ukrainian?"

Serafina is startled by the term of endearment and looked up at her barrister her face melting. 

"Did you just say, 'darling'?"

"Also, that your daughter has cheated death and is now in hiding in the modern languages department of the University of Kyiv thanks to some favours from old army pals. And that..."

"What?" exclaimed Serafina still on tenterhooks. 

"I more than like you" stuttered out the barrister uptightedly. 

Kirby was mortified that she had revealed her true feelings for her client and cast her eyes down in shame at the conflict in interest. But her guilt turned into raging desire when her eyes fell upon the still AWOL snow white boobs of Serafina. 

She did not know where to look: the clock on the wall, it was past midnight; the open window showing all the twinkly constellations; or her battered chesterfield sofa where all her clients usually sat. When she saw the latter she knew she had no further options. 

Manoeuvring the pianist onto the leather three seater, she hovered over the supine and trembling woman. 

"I need to know" the inarticulate Kirby trailed off. 

"Yes" said Serafina, "what is it that you need to hear?" 

Some hours later, after a brew, and some careful and respectful discussion of boundaries and safe words, satisfied that proper consent had been adequately considered and provided, and a freshly inked memorandum of understanding sat upon the desk, the two lovers resumed their positions on the sofa. 

Kirby ran her hand commandingly down Serafina's pelvis and over her beautiful gown. Barely able to contain herself, she pressed her face close to musician and they smashed their lips together like they were making avocado toast. 

The chiffon on Serafina's dress crinkled like the waves hitting a shore at low tide and Serafina was so desperate to be rid of it she whispered in Kirby's ear, "I need to feel all of you". 

Kirby grips Serafina's hair in response and blindly undoes the catches of her dress. While the desperate pianist runs her slender fingers along Kirby's trousers doing the same to her zipper, sliding down the catches achingly slowly. 

Serafina in her passion flips a surprised Kirby on her back and surveys her in all her naked glory. 

"Not sure that's entirely allowed Ms Pellmell" says Kirby but she begins anyway to lick at Serafina's breasts catching the beads of sweat from the underneath swell of her bosom licking it like a Mr Whippy on a hot day. At this, the pianist gushes. Her desire trickles down Kirby's wool mix trousers. Not wanting to explain to the dry cleaners, she deftly removes her own pants and moves her strong hands towards Serafina's altar of Venus. 

They both groan in concert as Kirby's grabs the rounded orbs of Serafina's buttocks while sliding her preternaturally long fingers deep into her love well. Their faces are mere inches from each other, and all they can hear are their breathless moans and the squelching suction of their lovemaking. 

Kirby increases the pace and as she feels her skin on her fingers wrinkle and Serafina's inner muscles grab at her digits she makes a come hither sign like a traffic warden at a cross-section. Thus rubbing the spongy wall of the pianist's privy counsel, Serafina cries out her erotically charged pleasure, making Kirby's ears ring with sexualised tinnitus and her own self moist and warm as a towelette in business class. 

Serafina falls upon her boneless as a frightened squid that has squirted out all its ink. And they lie in monochrome in the moonlight utterly spent. 


End file.
